2025: Raves In Review

December 31, 2025 | #rave #toronto #queer

In 2025, I went to ~45 dance parties and/or raves. Here is a list of the best parties that I attended, presented in chronological order. At each of these parties I experienced a profound sense of healing.

My Favourite Parties of 2025

1. Bassification: Techno Bootz – x3butterfly, myst milano, HVN, VUHNNY, EMRYSLAZULI (February 28, 2025)
2. Exposure Therapy: B00TY C4LL – Ms Myles, Stella Maise, 999ADJ, Disthene, Sappho.XD (June 7, 2025)
3. Pride… For The Lovers – Austra, Mister Wallace, Phillippe, Zellers, Jaw Jones, Marnigurl, Kuscheln, musa (June 27, 2025)
4. Best Out Of Town Sound 5 (August 29-September 1, 2025)
5. Standard Time: 271 – Ciel b2b Priori (September 27, 2025)
6. Parquette: flip 8 – Ciel b2b Loidis et al (December 13-14, 2025)

Appendix

7. Honourable Mentions
8. Reflections
9. Notes For Party Throwers
10. Lessons Learned
11. Resolutions
12. Acknowledgements

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Bassification: Techno Bootz – x3butterfly, myst milano, HVN, VUHNNY, EMRYSLAZULI (February 28, 2025)

2025 was an intense year. I felt it right away. 2025 sucked, dude.¹

By late February, I felt like dog shit, and like I needed to have my body and soul sandblasted by a pulsing beat. That’s a lot to expect going in to a party! I generally recommend trying to set low expectations. Fortunately, this rave delivered.

I arrived later than I intended, but as soon as I walked in the music was delightful. High-energy, high-tempo, I zoned in and moved my body in time with the music. I felt euphoric for most of it.

HVN was good; Myst Milano was great; x3butterfly was amazing.

I danced non-stop for over two hours. I danced until I got tired, and my body ached, and then I danced some more. I struggled to leave. I remember being outside, psyching myself up to bike home, dancing in the cold wearing my jacket.

I felt thoroughly rinsed. The world would be a better place if everyone could feel this way more often. When I’m out dancing, and locked in, in the zone, I like to repeat mantras. On this night I found myself thinking, over and over again:

• I am beautiful
• I have purpose
• We will survive this

Exposure Therapy: B00TY C4LL – Ms Myles, Stella Maise, 999ADJ, Disthene, Sappho.XD (June 7, 2025)

Long story short, my partner was hospitalized from late May to mid-June. It was sudden, and scary: she could have died. I had to juggle work, soloing both kids, and swinging by the hospital every day. My oldest kid is almost the same age I was when *my* mom died, so I kept experiencing weird grief-laden flashbacks. This was one of the most stressful periods of my life. It sucked.

Fortunately, grandma took the kids so I could go out. Dancing helped me cope with the stress.

My day went like this: at 4am I consoled a scared child, and I later took both of them to visit their mother in the hospital. In the afternoon, I dropped them off at grandma’s, and watched as they ran thru a sprinkler in her backyard. Back at home, by myself and with time to kill, I walked up and down Do West Fest. I love summer street festivals. I love the heat, the hustle and bustle, the civic frenzy, but pushing through the crowds I felt a terrible loneliness and sadness. I missed my partner. I cried as I walked home, careful not to smudge my eyeliner.

I got dressed and headed out.

I had been really looking forward to this party. At several queer events I’ve found myself surrounded by gay men, which god bless ‘em but it’s not my vibe, and I really, really wanted to experience dancing in a majority-femme space.

I met some friends at the venue, and I got to feel like I was not all alone. The crowd was pleasant, and there was room to dance. I enjoyed Disthene’s set, and I thought Stella Maise’s set was quite good. The beer in my gut and the joint in my lungs landed, and untied some knots, and I let loose.

Then 999ADJ came on and killed it.

Have you ever seen an artist perform and think, wow, they’re going to blow up one day? That’s how I feel about Adjowa. This year, I saw them play on six different occasions. I’ve seen them get a party bumping, and I’ve seen them play for fun. They approach their craft with deep curiosity and erudition, and they weave their sets with rich emotional textures. It’s always a pleasure.

I had an amazing, incredible time dancing to their set. At times, it felt transcendental, the joy and happiness of the songs flowing through me. It didn’t fully offset the pain and the grief in my heart, but it helped me keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Pride… For The Lovers – Austra, Mister Wallace, Phillippe, Zellers, Jaw Jones, Marnigurl, Kuscheln, musa (June 27, 2025)

I had a wonderful Pride.

To be queer is to have freedom, and to share a night with my fellow queers is a blessing. I partied so hard at this rave that I decided to lean in to womanhood; it was at this rave that I decided I wanted to change my name. I spent my first two years of being trans trying to find a non-binary expression that felt right, but maybe I just wanted to be a girl all along.

My day went like this: my partner had been back home for almost two weeks, and I arranged for my (straight) best friend to help her out with the kids in the morning. Our kids’ kindergarten class had a little end of school year celebration, and I kissed them goodnight. I biked over to participate in the Trans March, meeting some friends along the way, before returning to my home where I met a different set of friends and we pre-gamed before heading out.

We arrived at the rave around 2330.

I wish I could tell you more about the music itself, but I got too intoxicated. That part is a bit of a blur. But I can tell you that catching Zellers b3b Jaw Jones b3b Marnigurl is a pleasure and a delight. I’ve seen each of them play multiple times this year and I am never disappointed.

At this party, I felt euphoria wash over me. I felt free, I felt beautiful, I felt full of love for everyone.

I eventually looked at my phone and it was past 0230. The dance floor was a total sauna, and had become completely saturated with sweaty gay men, god bless. I decided it was no longer my scene, and that it was time to go home.

Best Out Of Town Sound 5 (August 29 – September 1, 2025)

I had low expectations for this festival. I didn’t really know what to expect.

I kept hearing whispers about it from folks just outside my social circles. A friend of a friend told me that if I loved dancing, I should get on their mailing list. One of the organizers DJ’ed at our friends’ wedding. My partner’s new hairdresser mentioned it unprompted. What tipped me over was a friend of mine, who helps with BOOT’s setup and tear down. He told me it was really worth my time, and that I really ought to go.

A three day camping, sauna, and dance music festival sounded cool but the logistics were daunting. Booking the labour day long weekend away from my family, that’s a big ask. But as the summer unfolded, our calendar snapped into view. Going away that weekend was feasible, and when I saw that Zellers and Chinelo were playing I said: okay, fuck it, let’s do it.

I felt excited to get away, and be in a new environment, and to have a good opportunity to try out my new name. I had settled on Filipa, the smallest change possible, but it felt kind of… embarrassing. I found changing my name to be fraught experience. What if I don’t like how people react to it? Going to a festival where I knew almost no one seemed like a perfect place to experiment.

That last week of August we dragged the kids canoe camping in Algonquin, and got completely rained out. Despite this, we had a good time. We drove back to my in-laws’ cottage, I dried and repacked my camping gear, and the following day I ditched my family and drove hundreds of clicks north.

I had put in zero effort to coordinate with anyone at all. I was prepared to vibe my way through it solo.

I arrived a bit late, and I wandered aimlessly in pursuit of a spot to put my tent. As I got farther and farther away from the main areas I began to feel a bit sheepish, but I eventually screwed up my courage, and asked some strangers from Montréal if I could place my tent next to theirs. Of course! I dumped my stuff and began setting up. As I unrolled my tent I discovered that, by complete coincidence, I had managed to pick a spot in the same clearing my friend was staying.

I chose to interpret this as an auspicious omen, and basically from that moment onwards everything about the experience felt extremely blessed. It was as if the universe was sending me a message, it was holding my hand a little bit. I could not have planned a better outcome had I tried.

I had an amazing time. I choked the first time I introduced myself as Filipa, but soon I got used to saying and listening for the unfamiliar syllables. Hearing my name felt good, and it increasingly felt right.

The “venue” was delightful. The temporary stage was built next to a beach, which ended by a wood-burning sauna. The music, of course, was top-notch all around, and it kept pumping day and night. And the crowd, the crowd had impeccable vibes. It was a much queerer scene than I had expected.

Everyone was cool, and beautiful, and interesting. I bumped into people I knew, and a couple times ran into someone I had not seen in a decade. Everything felt nice, and relaxed, and safe.

I did not know that I could party this well, and this hard, for this long.

It felt incredible to look up and see the stars above at night, and to dance barefoot in the sand during the day. To take a break in the sauna, and chit chat, and go for a dip in the river, and feel the sun against your naked body. To nap in my tent, and make conversation as we cooked dinner together. There is something magical about dancing as the sun comes up, and watching the fog climb out of the river.

I returned home feeling calm, and content, and blissed out. My only regret is that I got a sunburn.

Standard Time: 271 – Ciel b2b Priori (September 27, 2025)

That sense of calm and contentedness didn’t last for very long.

In September, some of the far-right conflict that dominates so much of our world came to roost in my professional circles.² I was not in a good headspace, I was feeling a lot of anger and anxiety.

I had spent the night before feeling depressed, and I spent the whole day feeling exhausted (my morning had started before 6am). In the evening, though, we had a babysitter put the kids to bed so I could go with my partner and a friend to the Venus Festival at the Allan Gardens. It was cool!, but I had hoped there would be more dancing. When it came time to relieve our sitter, I biked my partner home – and got ready to go out again.

A friend had suggested this event, but I wasn’t really familiar with either Ciel or Priori’s oeuvre. I knew Ciel was an internationally-respected, touring DJ based in Toronto, but that was about it. I had low expectations going in. Also, I hadn’t gone dancing in almost four weeks. It happens. We got busy, and I had sorta forgotten how important it is for my mental health practice.

I arrived at Standard Time just before midnight, and I proceeded to have an amazing time. The music hit the right spot, and the energy on the dance floor was incredible. I ran into a bunch of people I met at BOOT, and there were lots of solid dancers deep in the zone. I got to experience that joyful, euphoric rinsing that my mind needed. It can’t replace therapy, but dancing… it’s a vital form of exercise. Dancing eats stress, dancing releases joy, dancing expresses life.

For about three hours, everything was as perfect as it ought to be.

Parquette: flip 8 – Ciel b2b Loidis et al (December 13-14, 2025)

Parquette is a new club in Montréal, and once a month Parquette throws a 24hr dance party.

The music starts Saturday night at 10pm, and continues non-stop until 10pm on Sunday night. The same friend who helps out with BOOT helps out with Parquette; he invited me to come check it out some time, and I occasionally saw snippets on social media from acquaintances .

It all sounded really fun, but again, the logistics were daunting. However, when I mentioned, aspirationally, that it would cool to attend a flip party some day, my partner responded by pointing out that she would love to catch up with her good friend Cee, who moved to Montréal the better part of a decade ago.

Why don’t we make a road trip out of it? And that’s what we did.

On Friday afternoon we picked the kids up early from school, shoved them in the car, and drove east. About halfway, we made a strategic pitstop in a macdo in Kingston, which has a big kid playroom. Their bellies full, their bodies covered in sweat from playing, we shoved them back in the car and drove on until both kids fell asleep and we alighted in Little Italy. On Friday night and Saturday, we hung out with Cee and his girlfriend, and then on Sunday morning I put on my dancing shoes and headed out.

I arrived around 830am, and immediately bumped into my friend, who showed me around. A thick fog clouded everything around us, blunting the bright morning light shining through the windows. I sipped a coffee, and chatted, and walked over to the dance floor. The dregs of Saturday night’s party slowly filtered out – bros in tshirts, straight women clad in skin tight spandex – and the day party people slowly filtered in. It was neat to feel the vibe shift, and transition in the crowd. It was cool to meditate on the intersection of people and scenes coming together in this space.

Many wore club wear, heels and mesh, or were otherwise dressed to go out, but it was easy to spot the aficionados, a group I increasingly felt an affinity with. The most hardcore partygoers were not dressed to impress. The truly degenerate were here for the long haul, they treated it like an endurance sport: they wore sensible shoes and comfortable pants, they looked like they were about to go on a hike in the woods.

I ran into people I had met before, mostly at BOOT, and they seemed suitably pleased that I had made the commute from Toronto. Between bouts on the dance floor, we chatted amiably, and compared notes, and took breaks together.

Around 10am, Ciel and Loidis took over and they played what ended up being a twelve hour set. I danced, and I danced, and I danced, and I had a wonderful time. Around 1730, now pitch dark outside, I left to go have dinner with my family and help put the kids to bed. Then I returned around 2030, and danced until closing time.

As the evening came to an end, and the music got slower and darker, I enjoyed a sensual dance with a cutie from Boston – and then we were unceremoniously kicked out. Come back another time!

I think I will.

Honourable Mentions

• body2body ft. Kush Jones x Hentai Hammer All Star: 1st Anniversary (March 8, 2025)
  • Wonderful manic energy from two fairly different dance parties happening at the same time across two floors at Cafeteria. I got a Hentai Hammer keychain from this event and I smile every time I grab it.
• TWIST: Amelia Holt, h1bou, musa, Kajaka, Marnigurl, Jaw Jones (October 25, 2025)
  • I was not in the right headspace to have fun but Marni’s ambient set was lovely.
• LATEX. // SIN CITY // TORONTO – CrisseMarqueur, Pretty Privilege b2b Zellers, OMG.BLOG, Zola (December 19, 2025)
  • Zola put on an amazing set and it’s just so much fun to see people preening and dressed in their leathers

Reflections

• In 2024 I discovered that I love dancing, and I went to 10 raves and/or dance parties. This year I went to about 45 raves and/or dance parties.
• Dancing has grown from a new passion to a serious hobby/part-time job 😅.
• On some level, I am chasing the high I get from getting locked in to the music. This feels… sustainable, wholesome even? I rarely get blotto, just a couple beers, a joint. I rarely wake up hungover, despite being past my prime partying years.
• On another level, I am driven by a feeling deep in my gut that I might die soon, and that I need to feel as alive as possible while I still can. In 2026, I will be the same age my mother was when she died, and I expect I will feel weird about it until 2027 comes around.
• Last year I wrote that had I known about dancing (and being trans) back in my twenties I would’ve been a party girl. Last month, a friend’s girlfriend described me as a “cool party girl who is not too cool to be kind”. I have kept that phrase near my heart ever since.

Notes For Party Throwers

• I think more parties should sticker up audience cellphone cameras. It should become de rigueur.³ I appreciate the irony for advocating for this, given that I like to document my party experience.
• Promoters have slightly more influence over their audiences’ behaviour than they might understand. I hope the mainstream venues and promoters figure this out. I generally only go to underground and queer shows, but I read about the shows straight people attend and it sounds like hell.
• I like cool lights, but there’s something wrong about regretting not having my sunglasses on me. Keep them pointed away from the dance floor! lol.
• We are starved for venues in this city, and I hope more open.

Lessons Learned

• A good party has good music, but a truly great party has a great crowd. The crowd’s vibes are much more important than I initially thought.
• Be very careful when mixing substances.
• I find my enjoyment is anchored by my expectations; a good show can be feel bad if you walked in expecting it to be superlative, so it’s important to set low expectations. Before walking into a venue, I’ll hum to myself: “the music is going to suck, the crowd is not going to vibe, this party is going to flop”.

Resolutions

• I love dancing, I hope I am able to keep doing it.
• I would like to get better at knowing people in the scene.
  • I don’t know what this looks like, lol.
  • In normal one-on-one interactions, I can be personable – charismatic, even. At dance parties, I often feel like a ding dong. I can’t hear what anyone’s saying, I flub basic small talk, I feel awkward. It takes effort!
  • Also, I have a pathological inability to recognize unfamiliar faces (seriously, it’s almost a disability). I’m sorry if I don’t recognize you.
• I would like to help throw a party.
  • I don’t know, nor do I care to know, anything about music, but I do know a fair bit about throwing events.
  • I feel free, I feel beautiful, I feel so much joy in these spaces, and I want to help ensure these spaces continue to exist, somehow.

Acknowledgements

• Because I’m a mom, going out dancing almost every weekend is a big flex. This kind of schedule is only possible because my partner is so incredibly good, giving, and game. As I type this, we’re going to go to our first rave together later tonight. I’m excited!, even if the music will be terrible, the crowd will be rancid, and the party will be a bust ;).

1. I spent a lot of time this year feeling anger, and grief. I’m angry at how the worst people have become empowered, how being cruel became trendy, at the rolling layoffs at my workplace intended to make everyone feel anxious and scared. I feel sad for all of the good things that are being set on fire, and destroyed. ↩

2. The tools I’ve built my career around have become dominated by creeps and transphobes. It was bad enough that the world is on fire; now I also have to navigate grief and anxiety in my professional life. I would later write a long essay about how terrible it is to be disappointed by people you used to admire, and how cis people don’t understand the stakes of this moment. ↩

3. For this reason, in own photography, I have shifted away from trying to capture DJs and more towards capturing the crowd or the mood. ↩

# 2025-12-31